Flowers Of Recovery Living Past A Bully Boss-

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I love tulips and today I feel the need to remind myself that we all need to have a memento that shows appreciation of ones being!  This bouquet is for me!  It is a day of celebration and thanks that even when we go thru trials there are victories of the other side.  It’s called Recovery!

Several years ago I was so emotionally distraught over a boss who was short of a Bully in the workplace.  He would call at 1: AM or 5 AM anytime he wanted to demand more of me.  He could never see what had been accomplished and he truly kept me so upset that it cost me so much more than a bad job experience.  I felt inadequate!  as well as like I did not know what I was doing in my role.  None of this was true!  I had stopped sleeping and stopped believing in myself.  He had me so emotionally distraught.  My recovery is onging even after several years.  Bullying in the workplace is truly not OK and yet just like me I was afraid of my bully!

This man was so busy talking all about himself and never willing to get to know he leaders that it was apparent that his story was more important than the business goals established.  I have learned that if you want to be successful then everyone has to want what you want as the boss!  This man did not understand this.  The poor conduct and crazy late night rants were his way Management Organizational Style.  He talked his way into his job with charismatic personality and then once in his role, expected instant success.  He fired most of his team and rehired replacements but just like me drove people to leave because of his conduct.

What a Bully does is tell you these following statements!  “Don’t ever talk to my boss!”  He would remind me that the buck stopped with him and that I was never to speak with his boss!

He told me if I cared about my job I would buy equipment to maintain the locations and that I should not expect  the company to reimburse.   Leaf blowers, floor care equipment!  If a light was out he would freak out wanting to know why the management team was too dense to get the lights replaced in locations where an electrician would have had to come in and be hired through the company portal.  He would demand for the Managers to go around this process and hire it locally and pay for it out of the register.  Yet putting their jobs are risk for deviating from Corporate Policy.

Bullies like to isolate and create rues to make others look poorly.  However looking back this man has only hurt his own success.  There were concerning signs that I did not want to admit until my husband had said enough!  I am fortunate that I survived.

Bullies always make sure to have a bully partner that they use as to back up their abuse.  My bully used two men to intimidate and to continue the terror.

Not everyone does!   Work place bullies are real!  Here are some scary statistics

Prevalence

37% of the U.S. workforce (an est. 54 million Americans) report being bullied at work; an additional 12% witness it. That is a total of 49% of workers. Conversely, 45% report neither experiencing nor witnessing bullying. Hence, a silent epidemic.

A Different Kind of Harassment

Bullying is 4 times more common than harassment (based on illegal discrimination). In only one out of five (20%) of bullying cases does discriminatory conduct play a role.

Bullying Damages Employees’ Health

The mythology surrounding bullying is that targets complain and mitigate frequently. However, 45% of targets experience stress-related health problems. WBI 2003 research found that targeted individuals suffer debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, clinical depression (39%), and even post-traumatic stress (PTSD, 30% of women; 21% of men).

In addition, once targeted, a person has a 64% chance of losing the job for no reason. Despite the health harm, 40% never report it. Only 3% sue and 4% complain to state or federal agencies.  Learn more about workplacebullyingInstutute.org

My bully I am still getting over!  The post-traumatic stress has changed me.  It took family support & personal dedication to learn more to keep this from ever happening again.

How you represent yourself is important.  How you treat others matters.  I have learned so much through education.  If you are being bullied there are agencies that can help.

Lets stop bullying in the workplace!  Be part of the change.

 

 

 

SEEING THRU THE SMOKE

Last week as I last shared our family had a fire in our pellet stove that caused the house to fill with smoke last Sunday evening.  So I spent last Monday cleaning all the walls laundering all the drapes taking all the furnishing out to air out and cleaning all the walls.  I had a company come in to clean to the carpets on Thursday.  The house smelled even worse with the smoke damage in the carpets.

I finally broke down and called the Insurance company.  They are coming out this morning to assess because I am concerned about the smoke damage in the furniture.

Of course I it is week later and I can still smell the smoke.  However my family cannot.  It could be just that I am over whelmed by the whole incident.  You pay for Insurance and then you are fearful of using it.  Our Adjuster said that there is ionizing equipment that can remove all the smoke from our furniture.  My biggest consootcern is our grandson being in our home and being sick from the  in the furniture.

When things happen that cause suffering it is hard to understand.  God has a purpose for what he has planned out for our family.  Personal ownership for bad decisions,  Bryan’s ongoing cancer issues and debt all have been our struggles for since 2014.

God has not forsaken us.  At times I have to remind myself that I am not my own.  God redeems us and protects us.  The fire and smoke could have come in the night with the loss of our family as we slept.  Yet God protected us.  Bryan’s cancer has grown us as a family to see the value of each day.  Career changes has brought me back home and has helped me spend more time with God and family.  Our debt will be resolved.

God has opened doors and closed doors in my life.  He has taken me places I would have never known!  I am so thankful for this.  I have never taken the easy road in life.  It is not my life plan!  I challenge myself!   Even thru all of what has happened God’s grace is sufficient.

Personally we all have dark days.  Do not be deceived or manipulated to stay in the dark. PSALM 23:4 reminds us ” Even though I walk through the darkest valley,  I will fear no evil for you are with me.   PSALM 23:4

I own my hardships.  God knows my heart and he knows my failings.  He knows my nature.  In tough times I have had to lean on him and not on me.  I really stink at this.  As I look back on things I decided without God!  I have suffered!

As I close this blog today I am inspired to be excited for this day!  Truly blessed.house_fire_s1