Rabbits & Hat Tricks

” I gave up and gained so much back not in income but in life.  The income will get rebuilt!” On better terms!

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When I was a small child I loved when our school would bring in Magicians to amaze and astound us!  Oh how to be able to pull a rabbit out of a hat!  Or make things disappear.

As I grew and realized a lot of the magic I dreamed of as a small child was not magic at all.  It was just a trick.  Now that is not to say that there is not magical moments in my life!  This past 12 months of recreating my life and the magic all around me has been a true journey.  So much change.  a year ago I was living on the road and living on Mini Butterfinger Candy Bar’s  and Mc Donalds coffee!  I was tired all the time!  I was traveling about 150 miles a day running myself ragged.

As I look at where I am today,  honestly I am still recovering from 2017.  The key word is recovery.  The Magic I have in my life is from being able to hold my husband’s hand at the end of the day.  Drive to work in the morning knowing the road back is 25 miles.  Now that is comfort.  To shop with my 16-year-old for dresses for her Spring Concert!  This is magic!  To see her face light up over being able to get all three dresses!  Magic!

What I have learned is that you must have balance!  Balance is the key to having a good life for half the pain!  Money cannot make my family happy.  It cannot give me back lost time with my children nor my husband.

In the past year the financial loss has been over whelming.  I went from making three figure to a two figure income.  Result is living the good life for half.   I am here to tell you it has not been easy.  Nice meals in restaurants gone!  Wine membership gone!  New car traded off for older car!  Sold off things to make ends meet!  Started a small batch granola company really not easy!  Watched family members look at me like I lost my mind!  Why Granola?  Answer God!  All I know is that it made sense and as we grow I trust God!

Faith &  grace of God is always present.  I am so thankful for his love and never-ending love!  The Magic of life is the joy we get when we allow to let God be all the magic we need!

Three things I am doing now for balance

1.  Bible & prayer time!  I allow this to be removed due to time constraints.  I am scheduling into my day.  Afternoon time as I go home listening to Christian Radio

2.  Health changes cutting a lot of processed food out and eating a better natural diet

3.  Taking back my home from my daughter’s family!  I love my children but our middle daughters family had to be asked to go!  They have been here for three years.  I want the balance of coming into my home and feeling like I live here and that this is my refuge.  It was a tough decision because I love having our grandson right here.  Our faith and our morals do not match with a young couple and middle-aged parents who see the world completely different.  It has caused huge bouts of stress for all of us.

What is important to you will not always be important to others.  But being thankful to change is the only way I got thru the past 12 months.  My faith in God to give me a new perspective paved the path to a better life.  I gave up and gained so much back not in income but in life.  The income will get rebuilt.  I am thankful for what we do have.

 

 

Flowers Of Recovery Living Past A Bully Boss-

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I love tulips and today I feel the need to remind myself that we all need to have a memento that shows appreciation of ones being!  This bouquet is for me!  It is a day of celebration and thanks that even when we go thru trials there are victories of the other side.  It’s called Recovery!

Several years ago I was so emotionally distraught over a boss who was short of a Bully in the workplace.  He would call at 1: AM or 5 AM anytime he wanted to demand more of me.  He could never see what had been accomplished and he truly kept me so upset that it cost me so much more than a bad job experience.  I felt inadequate!  as well as like I did not know what I was doing in my role.  None of this was true!  I had stopped sleeping and stopped believing in myself.  He had me so emotionally distraught.  My recovery is onging even after several years.  Bullying in the workplace is truly not OK and yet just like me I was afraid of my bully!

This man was so busy talking all about himself and never willing to get to know he leaders that it was apparent that his story was more important than the business goals established.  I have learned that if you want to be successful then everyone has to want what you want as the boss!  This man did not understand this.  The poor conduct and crazy late night rants were his way Management Organizational Style.  He talked his way into his job with charismatic personality and then once in his role, expected instant success.  He fired most of his team and rehired replacements but just like me drove people to leave because of his conduct.

What a Bully does is tell you these following statements!  “Don’t ever talk to my boss!”  He would remind me that the buck stopped with him and that I was never to speak with his boss!

He told me if I cared about my job I would buy equipment to maintain the locations and that I should not expect  the company to reimburse.   Leaf blowers, floor care equipment!  If a light was out he would freak out wanting to know why the management team was too dense to get the lights replaced in locations where an electrician would have had to come in and be hired through the company portal.  He would demand for the Managers to go around this process and hire it locally and pay for it out of the register.  Yet putting their jobs are risk for deviating from Corporate Policy.

Bullies like to isolate and create rues to make others look poorly.  However looking back this man has only hurt his own success.  There were concerning signs that I did not want to admit until my husband had said enough!  I am fortunate that I survived.

Bullies always make sure to have a bully partner that they use as to back up their abuse.  My bully used two men to intimidate and to continue the terror.

Not everyone does!   Work place bullies are real!  Here are some scary statistics

Prevalence

37% of the U.S. workforce (an est. 54 million Americans) report being bullied at work; an additional 12% witness it. That is a total of 49% of workers. Conversely, 45% report neither experiencing nor witnessing bullying. Hence, a silent epidemic.

A Different Kind of Harassment

Bullying is 4 times more common than harassment (based on illegal discrimination). In only one out of five (20%) of bullying cases does discriminatory conduct play a role.

Bullying Damages Employees’ Health

The mythology surrounding bullying is that targets complain and mitigate frequently. However, 45% of targets experience stress-related health problems. WBI 2003 research found that targeted individuals suffer debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, clinical depression (39%), and even post-traumatic stress (PTSD, 30% of women; 21% of men).

In addition, once targeted, a person has a 64% chance of losing the job for no reason. Despite the health harm, 40% never report it. Only 3% sue and 4% complain to state or federal agencies.  Learn more about workplacebullyingInstutute.org

My bully I am still getting over!  The post-traumatic stress has changed me.  It took family support & personal dedication to learn more to keep this from ever happening again.

How you represent yourself is important.  How you treat others matters.  I have learned so much through education.  If you are being bullied there are agencies that can help.

Lets stop bullying in the workplace!  Be part of the change.

 

 

 

Mustard & Ketchup

My brother Scotty loves corn dogs!  When we go to town we always end up at Scotty’s Drive Inn and buy 2 corn dogs and always asked for Mustard & Ketchup.  When Scotty gets that bag it is on.  He has a plan!  He has the mustard packet ripped then he goes for the ketchup!  Let me just say here that this is not car food!    Scotty does not talk!  He just eats!

Just like Scotty I know what I like too!  As we all do!  When I was pregnant with both girls I craved french fries and chicken gravy from a specific restaurant.  I was reminded today of  the french fries in a conversation with my husband.  We at times in life accept things that become part of our habits.   I was raised in tough times and Dad could not afford to take us to the doctors.  So I am not good at taking care of myself.  In the past years I have become more lethargic and wiped out a lot.  I ignore it and keep pushing myself.

I have been home since Friday night sick with what I thought at first was a cold.  Each day I have gotten worse.  I went to see the doctor today and she read through some lab work that I had done 14 months earlier.  I was not fully aware of what those numbers meant.  I am now awaiting new lab results and a phone consultation tomorrow after the tests come back.  God has granted me more time here to know the true love of my husband, to be a mother, to be a daughter to parents who I really never did really know.

The people who I could have never imagined that would be part of my story! Blessings abound me!   I have no idea what is ahead of me.  I only know that God has been here through it all.

I am hoping I am headed toward recovery.  To see each of our children grow up and be the women I hope they will be.  I think my underlying health issues have a lot to do with my emotional state.  I want to get well and actually not be exhausted all the time.

It is easy for me to put others ahead of me.  This is good.  Even when I am being e-rational about taking care of me I have tried to be the best person I could be in service of others.

Awareness of what is given leaves me thankful what God has given me.  He knows my person!  He knows my behavior and he knows my hour.  I worry not about where I will go.  I know that even though I am not perfect.  Jesus is my savior.  He comforts me and he is with me.  76d5b5d28443951eeb055b7cbc162cd3

LIFES BROKEN MOMENTS

“I know that my own stubbornness God has seen and I am truly ashamed.”

Some of the toughest times in my life have come out of my own poor decisions.  I am a sinner trying to be more like Jesus in how he lived is not always easy!   I loose my way.  We naturally look back and remember hurt moments in our lives.  We even become bitter over things.  I have got to admit I know all about bitterness.

I try hard not to think of these moments pexels-photo-267559.jpegwhere those whom we love the most have hurt us.  It is in our nature to find fault as well.  In James 1:20 we are reminded “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”  Hurt emotions always manifest into anger.  We feel rejected,  shocked, hurt and become angry.

I have taught on this very subjec and yet when I am consumed with own my personal hurt, I too forget.  So many moments lost!  That is what has happened!  We stop calling one another.  We do not go to families homes anymore.  No one says they are sorry.  We become right and everyone else is wrong.

I know that my own stubbornness God has seen and I truly am ashamed.  I do not know why families do the things that families do.  However,  it is not worth arguing about.  Sometimes you have to choose peace!  God can make me whole.  if I hurt he is there to comfort me.  If I have a need, he provides.  So even when I am hurt by life I can go ask God to comfort me.  No matter the issue he will give me guidance.

SEEING THRU THE SMOKE

Last week as I last shared our family had a fire in our pellet stove that caused the house to fill with smoke last Sunday evening.  So I spent last Monday cleaning all the walls laundering all the drapes taking all the furnishing out to air out and cleaning all the walls.  I had a company come in to clean to the carpets on Thursday.  The house smelled even worse with the smoke damage in the carpets.

I finally broke down and called the Insurance company.  They are coming out this morning to assess because I am concerned about the smoke damage in the furniture.

Of course I it is week later and I can still smell the smoke.  However my family cannot.  It could be just that I am over whelmed by the whole incident.  You pay for Insurance and then you are fearful of using it.  Our Adjuster said that there is ionizing equipment that can remove all the smoke from our furniture.  My biggest consootcern is our grandson being in our home and being sick from the  in the furniture.

When things happen that cause suffering it is hard to understand.  God has a purpose for what he has planned out for our family.  Personal ownership for bad decisions,  Bryan’s ongoing cancer issues and debt all have been our struggles for since 2014.

God has not forsaken us.  At times I have to remind myself that I am not my own.  God redeems us and protects us.  The fire and smoke could have come in the night with the loss of our family as we slept.  Yet God protected us.  Bryan’s cancer has grown us as a family to see the value of each day.  Career changes has brought me back home and has helped me spend more time with God and family.  Our debt will be resolved.

God has opened doors and closed doors in my life.  He has taken me places I would have never known!  I am so thankful for this.  I have never taken the easy road in life.  It is not my life plan!  I challenge myself!   Even thru all of what has happened God’s grace is sufficient.

Personally we all have dark days.  Do not be deceived or manipulated to stay in the dark. PSALM 23:4 reminds us ” Even though I walk through the darkest valley,  I will fear no evil for you are with me.   PSALM 23:4

I own my hardships.  God knows my heart and he knows my failings.  He knows my nature.  In tough times I have had to lean on him and not on me.  I really stink at this.  As I look back on things I decided without God!  I have suffered!

As I close this blog today I am inspired to be excited for this day!  Truly blessed.house_fire_s1

 

 

CLEARING THE AIR

We have a wood pellet stove in our home.  We have enjoyed this stove.  The stove really has reduced our fuel bills.  Something went wrong last night and my daughter came running into my Master that is in the back of the house to tell me the stove was on fire.  I went out to see what was going on to find the door of the stove was open and the house filled with heavy white soot smoke.  we opened the windows to clear the smoke.

Well this morning the smoke is just as heavy.  I called my employer to let them know I will be working from home on cleaning the house.  Just checked website on smoke damage.  I have decided on a combination of a mild detergent with baking soda and vinegar.  well it is has not removed the smell.  I covered the furniture in baking soda and damped it with vinigar. it seemed to work on the furniture.  However the walls and ceilings still smell of smoke.  More than half of the house was effected.  The throw rugs in the livingroom I contacted a professional carpet care company who will come on Thursday and shampoo.  All the drapes, blinds and throw pillows were taken out and laundered.  All the wall hangings are on the patio with all the baskets that needed cleaned with mild soap and vinigar.  I am so thankful that I am cleaning furnishings and that we did not die from smoke inhalation or worse in a full house fire!

God’s grace and love once again has prevailed.  Even though it cost me a day of work we still have time to thank the Lord for this day and to rejoice in his glory.

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HARVESTING EVEN IN THE WINTER

Recently I have had to realize that shame is God’s way of humbling our hearts.  We bring shame upon ourselves.   It becomes apparent that in life it becomes hurt that can keep us from our goals of being closer to God.

As I grow in my life toward the woman God wants me to be, I have realized that my mistakes become shame.  I read a note card that gave good life advice.  it said do not go to bed angry, show up and stay late and think before you speak!  Really good advise.  We sometimes need to remind ourselves that sometimes what we start is not going to turn out just like we expected.  However it might turn out better!

I have set some huge goals this year for my life.  I look to the small victories that God will send me as I work toward these goals.  However my goals mean nothing if they do not grow me toward God.  Recently I have been humbled by new people who God has placed in my life.  He sets our feet toward new directions!  He asures me that I will be doing his work.  It might be a co-worker,  A family member, or a stranger that is placed in my life for his glory.  I have learned to be thankful for all.

Being humble is when you realize what you have to say is not necessary!  You become quiet and more willing to let others speak.  Being humbled by what happens to me instead of torn down by circumstances.  Learning to let go of strife and being ok with a new road.  These are the things of growth!

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The QUIET BEGINING

“As I write this, it is apparent to me that I am different!  Different than I used to be. “

As I write this, it is apparent to me that I am different!  Different than I used to be. Why?  Well it happened almost without my realization.  All of the sudden when I would get in my car I did not want to listen to music.  How I took time to think of others feelings more so than my opinion.  All of the sudden I was wanting to read more and seek the scriptures to get a better understanding of what I needed for my life.

My staff laugh because they know I am walking into the building just as Franklin Graham comes on the radio right after Adrian Rogers.  Why would they know this? Because I listen to Pastor Adrian Rogers everyday as I drive to work.  I would love to listen to Franklin as well but I cannot.  I have shared with all my team that I feed my morning drive with Pastor Adrian so when I am walking into the building I am equipped with the message and I try to pray to the Lord to allow me be a blessing to him as I conduct myself and how I treat my team!

The high standard of what I want my people to see in me is important.  I need to be prepared to greet them with a solid mind and a Christ Centered behavior!  I love it when I am able to wake early and read something amazing here on WordPress that inspires my heart.  However being a morning person is not a NATURAL part of who I am.  I like my sleep!  When I do not wake early I miss on my time with the Lord.  Oh I miss this!

I love spending time with God.  As I grow in my walk this time is very important to me.  I am hungry for learning.  He truly restores me and help me meet the day.  I love to close the door on my office and read my New Testament at work as well.  If we want a time for God we have to block time out.  I feel God working in me.  I am growing because I am hungry for God.  I am so thankful for this.  Here is hoping that you can set time aside to be thankful to God and to spend time praising everyday!

EMBRACING CHANGE

All though life changes our outer being the inner being still feels young without boundaries. It is only when I am playing with my children I realize that the shell is getting older.

Change is inevitable with every year our lives change.  This year we saw our daughter marry and have her first-born.  I remember being deeply in love with my husband and the night he proposed and yet this was 34 years ago.  Oh how I have changed!  When I look in the mirror I can still see that girl who said yes!  All though life changes our outer being the inner being still feels young without boundaries.  It is only when I am playing with my children I realize that the shell is getting older.

Age is not always a welcome visitor.  Vanity of what and who we perceive who we are changes with each passing year.  I guess that is why we need to focus on who we are today.  Today I am a better person because I have accepted I cannot do this life without Christ.  This was the best change I made.  I will forever be thankful for accepting Jesus as my savior and my sister-in-law and best friend Lorie who was there who prayed with me as I accepted Jesus.  Embracing this change has been a lot like to evolution of me going from a young woman to the older woman I am today.

When we decide to accept and be thankful for what God has done in our lives it becomes really fun to see where that change will take me.  I am set apart in the body of Christ.  But being set aside does not mean that the challenges and changes I will embrace will always be fully understood at the time of these changes.  We have to open our hearts up to what God has in store.  So Embrace change today

 

A BIT ABOUT ME-

A few things my readers my not know about me as I love food! When I travel I always research out the best places to try. I live in the State of Nebraska where we are proud of corn fed beef!

I awoke to the cell going of this morning. Haylie our middle daughter was letting me know that she was going to stay in town a bit and catch up with an old friend who is visiting and that she would need me to watch our grandson Jayson. I am not admitting it to her, but I never mind the time I have with our little man. The plan was to get out of bed and clean the house and spend time in fellowship. I still have been doing this, I feel like I took a trip the UK this morning, I was researching the category of FOOD on WordPress.com

A few things my readers my not know about me as I love food! When I travel I always research out the best places to try. I live in the State of Nebraska where we are proud of corn-fed beef! However being a survivor of a heart attack I have worked hard to cut back on this and eat more fish and poultry.

I actually love the challenges of trying new foods. I am a cook book fanatic and a Pinterest freak! I adore both the book in my hand and the online beauty of the recipes. I am very interested in how to eat for health. However giving up all goodies is a tough thing too. If you have been reading my blog I set four goals for 2018 in my post 2018 FOUR SET- GO!  One of the 4 set goals was to cut refined sugars out of my diet and to get healthier in 2018.    2015-2017 was not good years for us personally. We lost family members and my husband was diagnosed with cancer.  SO I thru myself into work! 

As well as trying to control life instead of relying on God. My life has not been that of tranquility. But I am not looking back now!  Enough! 2018 is all about going forward and seeing positive things happening!

the four goals I set are huge goals. I am not the type of person who sets goals and thinks I have arrived. It is about gaining success in an areas I am focusing. I think 4 areas is enough. What makes me happy is writing this blog. I am a twin and I must say y sister is the bomb. Cindy is a brilliant woman who is truly my rock! I can always rely on her to tell me just what she thinks! No holding back! Another bit about me. I am short! 64 inches tall is not tall! So being fat does not look good at a short woman! Another reason to go to the gym. Another reason to walk a lot in my job. Another reason to eat fish!

As I write this blog the smell of last nights cabbage burgers are still in the air. These are a treat for my family. Home made bread filled with cabbage, onions and good Nebraska corn-fed beef burger blended together to make pockets of pure yum!   I am that woman who can taste something and without a recipe recreate it.  I love to adapt my favorite cakes into granola’s that we then sell thru our granola company. 

Today I am working on German Chocolate Cake Granola.  the goal is to make it taste great with no refined sugars.  We use a lot of coconut sugars and natural stevia in our blends I do not like fake sugars.  We use real honey and maple as well along with natural sweetness of fruit.  I will post later how this one turns out.

Best selling right now is our Carrot Cake granola. We ship a ton of this!

Well enough for now!  I will be posting later on the success of this new granola.