The Quiet Reflection & Grace

We are so accustomed to getting what we want at a touch of a finger with technology! As I write this we are without wifi and wow my family is stressing out because they cannot access their games or be online! The peace of writing I find myself content to reflect what a good day it was!

Work has not been a place of refuge for me. It has been a place that up to now that I have enjoyed going to. However lately not so much. It has been a place of discontent. I am

ready for a vacation or a couple small get a way’sthZDMEMP2V. The past 7 weeks our entire family has been working so hard at our company. We moved into our new Store location at the end of June and wow it has been non stop work. We added a coffee company along with our granola company www.granolabox.biz Our goal with the location is to be a Marketplace for many business to come together under one umbrella and offer services that are not being met within the community. A coffee house was not being met. We offer local roasted coffee from I & L Coffee Roasters and soon we will have a Bakery added to the partners.

To be at home off of my feet just being thankful for this quiet time is just what I needed. I took time this morning to get right with God and pray for restoration as well as seek him in all my matters that only God can help me with. I prayed for my people because my people matter in how they serve! We all have roles we must play in the work place. Understanding the conversations that we have to have are not always easy. As a leader I am called accountability! We are all human and we screw up! I took time to have set down visits with staff who are not one minded with our goals. It was a productive day. I am thankful to the Lord because I felt him today one with me. Reminder: Seek God to be part of your day! Praise and Thanks God for making me more like your son! Truly want to be more like Jesus and less of me!

 

Being Stuck

“I will not give up!”

car-stuck-in-the-mud-fail-1436035918

Have you ever been stuck!  The frustration of it all!  The mud!  Well in life we can become life stuck!   I think that we get here out of a lot of different reasons.  Recently I had an employee transfer out of our department.  I was so upset that he would not want to work with our team!   I took sometime and evaluated what was happening.  He was not being able to bring his strengths to our team.

He had told me he hated our department and the type of work.  However that is only part of the truth!  He was shown disrespect in return hurt his feelings.  People put people in funks!  Causing them to become disenchanted.  Having expectations has a lot to do with this as well.  We dropped down in staff and it meant that this employee was expected to step up and work in an area that he found over whelming.  He then took on more work in hopes that this would help him.  It did not.  He kept seeking a different role.  He actually took a job where he is part-time.  He is now unstuck!  Will this be the last time he gets stuck?  I suppose not!  Life is full of growth and opportunity that is truly up to one and their goals.  I believe that being stuck can be just because we get scarred to try new things.  We are afraid of the risks of failure.

I am experiencing a mud holding stuck issue myself.  I  am dealing with my health and not seeing any change in how I feel.  I feel bad and pull myself along to work like I am treading through mud!  The goals I have set are to stay focused on this diet along with all the supplements I need to take and to get rest.  I have allowed this illness to defeat me!

Realism of how long it will take to feel better has a huge impact on how I see today!  When I wake up to my feet aching the tone is set.  Defeat is right there.  I have to change my thinking!   I never give in!  If I am not running a fever I am going to work!

I have Asthma, lived thru a heart attack, I will not give up!  The depression is the worst!  Being chronically in pain does a number on your life.  It has stolen my smile!  It steals my energy for activities.  It makes me mad! All this is me being stuck!  knowledge is power!  What ever I can do I want to take back my life!  I want to dance with my husband, play tennis with my daughter, take long walks and get back to a full life!

The Bible reminds me that I can do all things through Jesus Christ. When we are stuck we need to be on our aching knees seeking him to battle our issues.  I am the one who fails to call on him.  If you are dealing being stuck, I hope that reading this will give you power to look at your situation and know that you are not alone.  We can win our battles if we remember we are the body of Christ!

Rabbits & Hat Tricks

” I gave up and gained so much back not in income but in life.  The income will get rebuilt!” On better terms!

8a188e1ef255dc6ab41925d5a1ecbfd2

When I was a small child I loved when our school would bring in Magicians to amaze and astound us!  Oh how to be able to pull a rabbit out of a hat!  Or make things disappear.

As I grew and realized a lot of the magic I dreamed of as a small child was not magic at all.  It was just a trick.  Now that is not to say that there is not magical moments in my life!  This past 12 months of recreating my life and the magic all around me has been a true journey.  So much change.  a year ago I was living on the road and living on Mini Butterfinger Candy Bar’s  and Mc Donalds coffee!  I was tired all the time!  I was traveling about 150 miles a day running myself ragged.

As I look at where I am today,  honestly I am still recovering from 2017.  The key word is recovery.  The Magic I have in my life is from being able to hold my husband’s hand at the end of the day.  Drive to work in the morning knowing the road back is 25 miles.  Now that is comfort.  To shop with my 16-year-old for dresses for her Spring Concert!  This is magic!  To see her face light up over being able to get all three dresses!  Magic!

What I have learned is that you must have balance!  Balance is the key to having a good life for half the pain!  Money cannot make my family happy.  It cannot give me back lost time with my children nor my husband.

In the past year the financial loss has been over whelming.  I went from making three figure to a two figure income.  Result is living the good life for half.   I am here to tell you it has not been easy.  Nice meals in restaurants gone!  Wine membership gone!  New car traded off for older car!  Sold off things to make ends meet!  Started a small batch granola company really not easy!  Watched family members look at me like I lost my mind!  Why Granola?  Answer God!  All I know is that it made sense and as we grow I trust God!

Faith &  grace of God is always present.  I am so thankful for his love and never-ending love!  The Magic of life is the joy we get when we allow to let God be all the magic we need!

Three things I am doing now for balance

1.  Bible & prayer time!  I allow this to be removed due to time constraints.  I am scheduling into my day.  Afternoon time as I go home listening to Christian Radio

2.  Health changes cutting a lot of processed food out and eating a better natural diet

3.  Taking back my home from my daughter’s family!  I love my children but our middle daughters family had to be asked to go!  They have been here for three years.  I want the balance of coming into my home and feeling like I live here and that this is my refuge.  It was a tough decision because I love having our grandson right here.  Our faith and our morals do not match with a young couple and middle-aged parents who see the world completely different.  It has caused huge bouts of stress for all of us.

What is important to you will not always be important to others.  But being thankful to change is the only way I got thru the past 12 months.  My faith in God to give me a new perspective paved the path to a better life.  I gave up and gained so much back not in income but in life.  The income will get rebuilt.  I am thankful for what we do have.

 

 

Mustard & Ketchup

My brother Scotty loves corn dogs!  When we go to town we always end up at Scotty’s Drive Inn and buy 2 corn dogs and always asked for Mustard & Ketchup.  When Scotty gets that bag it is on.  He has a plan!  He has the mustard packet ripped then he goes for the ketchup!  Let me just say here that this is not car food!    Scotty does not talk!  He just eats!

Just like Scotty I know what I like too!  As we all do!  When I was pregnant with both girls I craved french fries and chicken gravy from a specific restaurant.  I was reminded today of  the french fries in a conversation with my husband.  We at times in life accept things that become part of our habits.   I was raised in tough times and Dad could not afford to take us to the doctors.  So I am not good at taking care of myself.  In the past years I have become more lethargic and wiped out a lot.  I ignore it and keep pushing myself.

I have been home since Friday night sick with what I thought at first was a cold.  Each day I have gotten worse.  I went to see the doctor today and she read through some lab work that I had done 14 months earlier.  I was not fully aware of what those numbers meant.  I am now awaiting new lab results and a phone consultation tomorrow after the tests come back.  God has granted me more time here to know the true love of my husband, to be a mother, to be a daughter to parents who I really never did really know.

The people who I could have never imagined that would be part of my story! Blessings abound me!   I have no idea what is ahead of me.  I only know that God has been here through it all.

I am hoping I am headed toward recovery.  To see each of our children grow up and be the women I hope they will be.  I think my underlying health issues have a lot to do with my emotional state.  I want to get well and actually not be exhausted all the time.

It is easy for me to put others ahead of me.  This is good.  Even when I am being e-rational about taking care of me I have tried to be the best person I could be in service of others.

Awareness of what is given leaves me thankful what God has given me.  He knows my person!  He knows my behavior and he knows my hour.  I worry not about where I will go.  I know that even though I am not perfect.  Jesus is my savior.  He comforts me and he is with me.  76d5b5d28443951eeb055b7cbc162cd3

LIFES BROKEN MOMENTS

“I know that my own stubbornness God has seen and I am truly ashamed.”

Some of the toughest times in my life have come out of my own poor decisions.  I am a sinner trying to be more like Jesus in how he lived is not always easy!   I loose my way.  We naturally look back and remember hurt moments in our lives.  We even become bitter over things.  I have got to admit I know all about bitterness.

I try hard not to think of these moments pexels-photo-267559.jpegwhere those whom we love the most have hurt us.  It is in our nature to find fault as well.  In James 1:20 we are reminded “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”  Hurt emotions always manifest into anger.  We feel rejected,  shocked, hurt and become angry.

I have taught on this very subjec and yet when I am consumed with own my personal hurt, I too forget.  So many moments lost!  That is what has happened!  We stop calling one another.  We do not go to families homes anymore.  No one says they are sorry.  We become right and everyone else is wrong.

I know that my own stubbornness God has seen and I truly am ashamed.  I do not know why families do the things that families do.  However,  it is not worth arguing about.  Sometimes you have to choose peace!  God can make me whole.  if I hurt he is there to comfort me.  If I have a need, he provides.  So even when I am hurt by life I can go ask God to comfort me.  No matter the issue he will give me guidance.

IF YOU BUILD THEY WILL COME!

Trying cost nothing but the gain could be service to someone in need!

If you build it they will come!  Will they really come?  This is the question!  I am working hard building a legacy for the future that will not just serve myself but will feed our children and provide for others as well.  Starting a new company is hard!  Dragging your children along for the ride!  Well sometimes I think it’s a bit like herding kittens!  What I think versus what they think is important can be a stressful go of it!

Just like that Field of Dreams comes the fear of what if this does not work?   What if I did this and no one wants what we are selling?  like the brother who is arguing with his sister and brother-in-law about how stupid it was to have bull dozed the corn out to build a baseball field!  He could not understand!  Yet Mighty Joe kept saying they will pay to see us play!  The naysayers cannot see what we are doing!

Building a business is risky.  Doing nothing gets you no where either!  So if I can going to live today I might as well try!  Trying cost nothing but the gain could be service to someone in need!  God has a way of giving us things in life that at times we might not fully see!  But he does!  Our granola company started just this way.  When my sister asked “why granola?”  I told her that it was from God.  God had directed me to this.

In just three months,  we have taken the company in a new direction that will allow us to not only sell to our customers but will now allow us to be wholesales into stores staring in Nebraska.  Our website is now taking orders with product shipping starting this week.

The commitment to building this has been over whelming with getting located into Nutter’s Bulk & Natural Foods in Scottsbluff, Nebraska as we start producing.  Last year we produced 1200 pounds and sold just through Farmers Markets.  We have three store locations now that will be selling our product.  So it is all about the hard work!  Out goal is to promote each store with us doing to foot work, advertising and promotion to share the Granola Box story.

I am learning to trust God!  “Depend on God & keep at it because in the Lord God you have a sure thing,” Isiah 26:4  No matter what have faith in where directs you as well.

 

 

 

SEEING THRU THE SMOKE

Last week as I last shared our family had a fire in our pellet stove that caused the house to fill with smoke last Sunday evening.  So I spent last Monday cleaning all the walls laundering all the drapes taking all the furnishing out to air out and cleaning all the walls.  I had a company come in to clean to the carpets on Thursday.  The house smelled even worse with the smoke damage in the carpets.

I finally broke down and called the Insurance company.  They are coming out this morning to assess because I am concerned about the smoke damage in the furniture.

Of course I it is week later and I can still smell the smoke.  However my family cannot.  It could be just that I am over whelmed by the whole incident.  You pay for Insurance and then you are fearful of using it.  Our Adjuster said that there is ionizing equipment that can remove all the smoke from our furniture.  My biggest consootcern is our grandson being in our home and being sick from the  in the furniture.

When things happen that cause suffering it is hard to understand.  God has a purpose for what he has planned out for our family.  Personal ownership for bad decisions,  Bryan’s ongoing cancer issues and debt all have been our struggles for since 2014.

God has not forsaken us.  At times I have to remind myself that I am not my own.  God redeems us and protects us.  The fire and smoke could have come in the night with the loss of our family as we slept.  Yet God protected us.  Bryan’s cancer has grown us as a family to see the value of each day.  Career changes has brought me back home and has helped me spend more time with God and family.  Our debt will be resolved.

God has opened doors and closed doors in my life.  He has taken me places I would have never known!  I am so thankful for this.  I have never taken the easy road in life.  It is not my life plan!  I challenge myself!   Even thru all of what has happened God’s grace is sufficient.

Personally we all have dark days.  Do not be deceived or manipulated to stay in the dark. PSALM 23:4 reminds us ” Even though I walk through the darkest valley,  I will fear no evil for you are with me.   PSALM 23:4

I own my hardships.  God knows my heart and he knows my failings.  He knows my nature.  In tough times I have had to lean on him and not on me.  I really stink at this.  As I look back on things I decided without God!  I have suffered!

As I close this blog today I am inspired to be excited for this day!  Truly blessed.house_fire_s1

 

 

CLEARING THE AIR

We have a wood pellet stove in our home.  We have enjoyed this stove.  The stove really has reduced our fuel bills.  Something went wrong last night and my daughter came running into my Master that is in the back of the house to tell me the stove was on fire.  I went out to see what was going on to find the door of the stove was open and the house filled with heavy white soot smoke.  we opened the windows to clear the smoke.

Well this morning the smoke is just as heavy.  I called my employer to let them know I will be working from home on cleaning the house.  Just checked website on smoke damage.  I have decided on a combination of a mild detergent with baking soda and vinegar.  well it is has not removed the smell.  I covered the furniture in baking soda and damped it with vinigar. it seemed to work on the furniture.  However the walls and ceilings still smell of smoke.  More than half of the house was effected.  The throw rugs in the livingroom I contacted a professional carpet care company who will come on Thursday and shampoo.  All the drapes, blinds and throw pillows were taken out and laundered.  All the wall hangings are on the patio with all the baskets that needed cleaned with mild soap and vinigar.  I am so thankful that I am cleaning furnishings and that we did not die from smoke inhalation or worse in a full house fire!

God’s grace and love once again has prevailed.  Even though it cost me a day of work we still have time to thank the Lord for this day and to rejoice in his glory.

73f00d909800ade3e10faedddea9dfd6

 

HARVESTING EVEN IN THE WINTER

Recently I have had to realize that shame is God’s way of humbling our hearts.  We bring shame upon ourselves.   It becomes apparent that in life it becomes hurt that can keep us from our goals of being closer to God.

As I grow in my life toward the woman God wants me to be, I have realized that my mistakes become shame.  I read a note card that gave good life advice.  it said do not go to bed angry, show up and stay late and think before you speak!  Really good advise.  We sometimes need to remind ourselves that sometimes what we start is not going to turn out just like we expected.  However it might turn out better!

I have set some huge goals this year for my life.  I look to the small victories that God will send me as I work toward these goals.  However my goals mean nothing if they do not grow me toward God.  Recently I have been humbled by new people who God has placed in my life.  He sets our feet toward new directions!  He asures me that I will be doing his work.  It might be a co-worker,  A family member, or a stranger that is placed in my life for his glory.  I have learned to be thankful for all.

Being humble is when you realize what you have to say is not necessary!  You become quiet and more willing to let others speak.  Being humbled by what happens to me instead of torn down by circumstances.  Learning to let go of strife and being ok with a new road.  These are the things of growth!

6c12b6c1abded0bf9a88bf002120fc85.jpg

EMBRACING CHANGE

All though life changes our outer being the inner being still feels young without boundaries. It is only when I am playing with my children I realize that the shell is getting older.

Change is inevitable with every year our lives change.  This year we saw our daughter marry and have her first-born.  I remember being deeply in love with my husband and the night he proposed and yet this was 34 years ago.  Oh how I have changed!  When I look in the mirror I can still see that girl who said yes!  All though life changes our outer being the inner being still feels young without boundaries.  It is only when I am playing with my children I realize that the shell is getting older.

Age is not always a welcome visitor.  Vanity of what and who we perceive who we are changes with each passing year.  I guess that is why we need to focus on who we are today.  Today I am a better person because I have accepted I cannot do this life without Christ.  This was the best change I made.  I will forever be thankful for accepting Jesus as my savior and my sister-in-law and best friend Lorie who was there who prayed with me as I accepted Jesus.  Embracing this change has been a lot like to evolution of me going from a young woman to the older woman I am today.

When we decide to accept and be thankful for what God has done in our lives it becomes really fun to see where that change will take me.  I am set apart in the body of Christ.  But being set aside does not mean that the challenges and changes I will embrace will always be fully understood at the time of these changes.  We have to open our hearts up to what God has in store.  So Embrace change today