The Giving In!

Do you ever notice sometimes when we think things are not going the way we want, we then will concede by accepting what ever the circumstance is?  I call this the moment “The Giving In” moments of life.  We do this to adjust to what we are not accomplishing!

An example would be life style change that removes specific things out of your diet.   You expect that you will just become this thin person over night.  You go the scale like it is new toy in the house that you want to play with!  Then there is the moment of defeat!  The Giving In!  The sloughing of the feet as they retreat from the scale who has put your hard work back into perspective!

Recently I have been feeling defeated.   Our defeats can tear us down and make us not want to try!  At times it becomes easier to accept defeat!  As I write this I am dealing with the emotional state of a new business and my expectations.  As well the on going life changes that I have had to make for my health.  We all have challenges and it is more of how we persevere the storms that we bring on ourselves as well as those that we did not see in a health concern.

The success we will have is in trusting God!  When I am in my storms I am not always seeking God.  Satin loves to use our events to keep us from our real need.  God!  As I have said and continue to say!  Satin is a deceiver!  When we are challenged we are to come to God with our needs.  Fasting and praying is something I have never done.  I have had profound answers to prayer in my life. Fasting is something I have never done.  If any of my readers here have, I would love to here from you.  As I write this I am reminded of how Noah must have felt!  He must of looked foolish as he was ridiculed over building this huge boat.  At times! Noah could have given in to the ridicules! Instead he stayed strong in obedience to God!

Ephesians 6:10-18

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, …

A Tribute

IMG_7852

Our daughters are gifts to us!  Children are sent from God.  Not everyone nor do I always remember that they were sent into my life to be life companions and to bring joy along with heart ache.  As I write this, I think of mothers & fathers who don’t get to have their children in their lives.  Just a year ago a little girl had a seizure while driving.  Her car drove off into some sheet grass where it the exhaust started the car on fire.  The young driver never awoke from the smoke that then started the car on fire.  What a tragic loss.

As I write this I think of young girls who are abducted and murdered.  My heart breaks for the Tibbitts family as they deal with the fact that their precious child was murdered.

My heart goes to a scene along side a rushing river as we waited to hear they found my little cousin of 17 years old.  She was found 7 miles away tangled in debris of the river.  Oh how this little girl was so beautiful.  Each of these amazing young women had dreams and so many who loved them.  Each situation different but the loss real!

We struggle to understand why these horrible things happen.  In my home I have a plaque that states the following “Enjoy life because it has an expiration date!”  What a terrible thought and yet it is so true.  We need to grab life and not get caught up on not living.  unfortunately it is easy to put off life based off of goals.

As I think of the young ladies it hurts to think they did not get to marry, they did not get to have children, they did not get to say good-bye to their families and they left way too soon.

One was taken from a fluke issue, one at the hands of another and one to nature of the water.  All still impact and will continue to impact all of us.

our Brittany was beautiful.  A petite little girl with the most amazing spirit who had gone to France with her mother and French Club that summer.  She would have been a senior.

Molly I can only imagine was excited about her education to be a physiologist as she would have been a junior in College.

Liliana was an athlete who spent her last summer as a guard at the local swimming pool.  The little kids loved her.  She would have been a senior in high school.

Taken to soon.   A tribute to each of these amazing young women who are sorely missed today and always

  1. Psalm 116:15 15Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his faithful servants.

    Psalm 23:1-6 1A psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 2He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 4Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

    Our hearts still beat, our eyes still fill with tears, our minds still question why?  Our hearts still miss!  May God comfort us in our losses and fill us with the loving memories of those who are missing taken too soon.

My Financial needs & God!

th9ZI8QCA3I am so thankful for the trials that God has been there for.  He has been there every time.  Even when I was trying to do it my way.  God never lets me down.  I have been the problem behind every one of my trials!   Brought on by my own need to control instead of trust.

I have been evaluating this behavior & where it stems from.  When my husband & I got married,  he told me he wanted to manage our finances.  So any error became my cross to bere.  Oh and there was a lot of errors.  As I have gotten older the errors have have lessoned.  However not understanding the finances is just an example of life errors that I have made.

Asking me to manage the family debt has been devastating for me at times.  I was raised with nothing.  I have tried to do good with what God has provided but I am ashamed of what I have not been able to produce for God’s glory. However I forget to see the grace of what God does for us.  I am reminded how foolish of decisions we have made with our money.  Sometimes as a desire to serve our family.  Forgetting God will provide for our children.  I am so thankful that God knows my heart and knows that I want to do right by others through service of employment.  in Matthew 6:31-32 it states the following

Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat ‘ or ‘What will we drink ‘ or ‘What will we wear for clothing ‘ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

I cannot make the grass grow, I cannot make the wind move,  I cannot keep my children from their life choices nor can I control anything that God does not have planned for me.

I am thankful that God has provided me with gifts and talents that help produce good for his glory.  I am thankful that he has allowed me to learn from my failings.

“I have learned that mistakes can often be as good a teacher than success!” 

-Jack Welch

All things have a season and if we truly walk by faith then it means trusting God’s will for our lives.  Our finances are important and God will continue to grow me in this area.

I may never have the finest things here on earth!  But what I have is better than all the wealth.  It is the joy of loving God and knowing that he has provided for me and never has forsaken me for a moment!  in Proverbs 10:22

The blessing of the Lord makes one rich, and He adds no sorrow with it.

 

Here is wishing you blessings today of abundance from our Father who loves us!

 

 

 

What if……?

What if instead having people tearing down others, we built one another up?   What if instead of judging one another we worked to better our neighbors?   What if we cared enough to show honor to our leaders?  What if we picked up our Bibles and read it?  What if we set down at the table in the morning and ate together?  What if we spent time with one another at the end of the night as well?  What if we took time to pray and be in communion with God?

All these things are basics what if’s that missing from our communities.  We don’t do business with our local grocery store!  We don’t buy stamps at the post office we pick them up at Wal-Mart!  We don’t use the car dealership in the town we live, we go out-of-town and buy!  We don’t teach our children to show respect and they then grow up to be people who do not show respect!  What if we could change this scenarios?

I think that we can!  Remove people from your influence that are negative.  Make changes to protect your spirit by who you hang with.  Go out of your way to be a neighbor!  When you have an extra serving share!  Instead of tearing down our leaders remember we are called to pray for our leaders.  Take control and read the Bible, blog and stay connected to believers.  Wake up early enough to have breakfast with your family and make dinner time a part of celebrating the day. Thank JESUS for everything!

Jesus gave us the a life to observe as he not only showed us his moral light in what he taught the people he gave his life to give us opportunity to be more.  As I write this I am reminded that I fail daily at being a good neighbor.  I think it is because we need to see past our zip code and look around at what is happening in the small towns we drive through!  I could have more money in my bank account if I did not do business in the small towns that make up the rural landscape.  However I would be part of the problem of not doing business with my neighbors.  Caring enough to go vote on election day & then respecting the outcome.  praying for our businesses, praying for our leaders means I am called to be a good neigbor.

No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.

 

The Quiet Reflection & Grace

We are so accustomed to getting what we want at a touch of a finger with technology! As I write this we are without wifi and wow my family is stressing out because they cannot access their games or be online! The peace of writing I find myself content to reflect what a good day it was!

Work has not been a place of refuge for me. It has been a place that up to now that I have enjoyed going to. However lately not so much. It has been a place of discontent. I am

ready for a vacation or a couple small get a way’sthZDMEMP2V. The past 7 weeks our entire family has been working so hard at our company. We moved into our new Store location at the end of June and wow it has been non stop work. We added a coffee company along with our granola company www.granolabox.biz Our goal with the location is to be a Marketplace for many business to come together under one umbrella and offer services that are not being met within the community. A coffee house was not being met. We offer local roasted coffee from I & L Coffee Roasters and soon we will have a Bakery added to the partners.

To be at home off of my feet just being thankful for this quiet time is just what I needed. I took time this morning to get right with God and pray for restoration as well as seek him in all my matters that only God can help me with. I prayed for my people because my people matter in how they serve! We all have roles we must play in the work place. Understanding the conversations that we have to have are not always easy. As a leader I am called accountability! We are all human and we screw up! I took time to have set down visits with staff who are not one minded with our goals. It was a productive day. I am thankful to the Lord because I felt him today one with me. Reminder: Seek God to be part of your day! Praise and Thanks God for making me more like your son! Truly want to be more like Jesus and less of me!

 

Being Stuck

“I will not give up!”

car-stuck-in-the-mud-fail-1436035918

Have you ever been stuck!  The frustration of it all!  The mud!  Well in life we can become life stuck!   I think that we get here out of a lot of different reasons.  Recently I had an employee transfer out of our department.  I was so upset that he would not want to work with our team!   I took sometime and evaluated what was happening.  He was not being able to bring his strengths to our team.

He had told me he hated our department and the type of work.  However that is only part of the truth!  He was shown disrespect in return hurt his feelings.  People put people in funks!  Causing them to become disenchanted.  Having expectations has a lot to do with this as well.  We dropped down in staff and it meant that this employee was expected to step up and work in an area that he found over whelming.  He then took on more work in hopes that this would help him.  It did not.  He kept seeking a different role.  He actually took a job where he is part-time.  He is now unstuck!  Will this be the last time he gets stuck?  I suppose not!  Life is full of growth and opportunity that is truly up to one and their goals.  I believe that being stuck can be just because we get scarred to try new things.  We are afraid of the risks of failure.

I am experiencing a mud holding stuck issue myself.  I  am dealing with my health and not seeing any change in how I feel.  I feel bad and pull myself along to work like I am treading through mud!  The goals I have set are to stay focused on this diet along with all the supplements I need to take and to get rest.  I have allowed this illness to defeat me!

Realism of how long it will take to feel better has a huge impact on how I see today!  When I wake up to my feet aching the tone is set.  Defeat is right there.  I have to change my thinking!   I never give in!  If I am not running a fever I am going to work!

I have Asthma, lived thru a heart attack, I will not give up!  The depression is the worst!  Being chronically in pain does a number on your life.  It has stolen my smile!  It steals my energy for activities.  It makes me mad! All this is me being stuck!  knowledge is power!  What ever I can do I want to take back my life!  I want to dance with my husband, play tennis with my daughter, take long walks and get back to a full life!

The Bible reminds me that I can do all things through Jesus Christ. When we are stuck we need to be on our aching knees seeking him to battle our issues.  I am the one who fails to call on him.  If you are dealing being stuck, I hope that reading this will give you power to look at your situation and know that you are not alone.  We can win our battles if we remember we are the body of Christ!

Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People?

You know we all have asked this question!  Why do bad things happen to good people?  We are fallible! We can be self destructive!  Becoming emotional hurt can hardened   Our best expectations sometimes fall short of what we should see for Gods outcome.

Today is one of those days when you wonder why things happen to good people?  Well I write this I taken to a road way where ambulances are gathered with medical personnel and Highway Patrol.  The chopper above.  Yes it is auto accident that will claim both victims.  One unknown high on drugs and the other a man who had a huge impact in his community.  The other man of only 22 years who was loved is now gone.

Another scene three girls and a mother mourn the loss of their father who gives up on life.  Tired of the fight of depression takes his own life.  Later that year the mother is claimed by an auto accident and leaves three children now without either parents.

All the people above are missed today and all had impact!  All those of loss still need hope!  As I go forward today and I remember the hurt of loss I am reminded that God has a plan for each!  I sometimes do not understand why things happen but I know that healing comes to of us who deal with the question.  “Why do bad things happen to good people?”   We call on God when we are in need instead of needing him always as a daily companion. I very guilty of this!  We all can think of situations when bad things have happened to us or to others.  As I personally go through today I am trying to let go and allow for healing.

But God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish

IMG_5127

Rabbits & Hat Tricks

” I gave up and gained so much back not in income but in life.  The income will get rebuilt!” On better terms!

8a188e1ef255dc6ab41925d5a1ecbfd2

When I was a small child I loved when our school would bring in Magicians to amaze and astound us!  Oh how to be able to pull a rabbit out of a hat!  Or make things disappear.

As I grew and realized a lot of the magic I dreamed of as a small child was not magic at all.  It was just a trick.  Now that is not to say that there is not magical moments in my life!  This past 12 months of recreating my life and the magic all around me has been a true journey.  So much change.  a year ago I was living on the road and living on Mini Butterfinger Candy Bar’s  and Mc Donalds coffee!  I was tired all the time!  I was traveling about 150 miles a day running myself ragged.

As I look at where I am today,  honestly I am still recovering from 2017.  The key word is recovery.  The Magic I have in my life is from being able to hold my husband’s hand at the end of the day.  Drive to work in the morning knowing the road back is 25 miles.  Now that is comfort.  To shop with my 16-year-old for dresses for her Spring Concert!  This is magic!  To see her face light up over being able to get all three dresses!  Magic!

What I have learned is that you must have balance!  Balance is the key to having a good life for half the pain!  Money cannot make my family happy.  It cannot give me back lost time with my children nor my husband.

In the past year the financial loss has been over whelming.  I went from making three figure to a two figure income.  Result is living the good life for half.   I am here to tell you it has not been easy.  Nice meals in restaurants gone!  Wine membership gone!  New car traded off for older car!  Sold off things to make ends meet!  Started a small batch granola company really not easy!  Watched family members look at me like I lost my mind!  Why Granola?  Answer God!  All I know is that it made sense and as we grow I trust God!

Faith &  grace of God is always present.  I am so thankful for his love and never-ending love!  The Magic of life is the joy we get when we allow to let God be all the magic we need!

Three things I am doing now for balance

1.  Bible & prayer time!  I allow this to be removed due to time constraints.  I am scheduling into my day.  Afternoon time as I go home listening to Christian Radio

2.  Health changes cutting a lot of processed food out and eating a better natural diet

3.  Taking back my home from my daughter’s family!  I love my children but our middle daughters family had to be asked to go!  They have been here for three years.  I want the balance of coming into my home and feeling like I live here and that this is my refuge.  It was a tough decision because I love having our grandson right here.  Our faith and our morals do not match with a young couple and middle-aged parents who see the world completely different.  It has caused huge bouts of stress for all of us.

What is important to you will not always be important to others.  But being thankful to change is the only way I got thru the past 12 months.  My faith in God to give me a new perspective paved the path to a better life.  I gave up and gained so much back not in income but in life.  The income will get rebuilt.  I am thankful for what we do have.

 

 

Flowers Of Recovery Living Past A Bully Boss-

cfd19155a1b24f5b1600389f86872d53

I love tulips and today I feel the need to remind myself that we all need to have a memento that shows appreciation of ones being!  This bouquet is for me!  It is a day of celebration and thanks that even when we go thru trials there are victories of the other side.  It’s called Recovery!

Several years ago I was so emotionally distraught over a boss who was short of a Bully in the workplace.  He would call at 1: AM or 5 AM anytime he wanted to demand more of me.  He could never see what had been accomplished and he truly kept me so upset that it cost me so much more than a bad job experience.  I felt inadequate!  as well as like I did not know what I was doing in my role.  None of this was true!  I had stopped sleeping and stopped believing in myself.  He had me so emotionally distraught.  My recovery is onging even after several years.  Bullying in the workplace is truly not OK and yet just like me I was afraid of my bully!

This man was so busy talking all about himself and never willing to get to know he leaders that it was apparent that his story was more important than the business goals established.  I have learned that if you want to be successful then everyone has to want what you want as the boss!  This man did not understand this.  The poor conduct and crazy late night rants were his way Management Organizational Style.  He talked his way into his job with charismatic personality and then once in his role, expected instant success.  He fired most of his team and rehired replacements but just like me drove people to leave because of his conduct.

What a Bully does is tell you these following statements!  “Don’t ever talk to my boss!”  He would remind me that the buck stopped with him and that I was never to speak with his boss!

He told me if I cared about my job I would buy equipment to maintain the locations and that I should not expect  the company to reimburse.   Leaf blowers, floor care equipment!  If a light was out he would freak out wanting to know why the management team was too dense to get the lights replaced in locations where an electrician would have had to come in and be hired through the company portal.  He would demand for the Managers to go around this process and hire it locally and pay for it out of the register.  Yet putting their jobs are risk for deviating from Corporate Policy.

Bullies like to isolate and create rues to make others look poorly.  However looking back this man has only hurt his own success.  There were concerning signs that I did not want to admit until my husband had said enough!  I am fortunate that I survived.

Bullies always make sure to have a bully partner that they use as to back up their abuse.  My bully used two men to intimidate and to continue the terror.

Not everyone does!   Work place bullies are real!  Here are some scary statistics

Prevalence

37% of the U.S. workforce (an est. 54 million Americans) report being bullied at work; an additional 12% witness it. That is a total of 49% of workers. Conversely, 45% report neither experiencing nor witnessing bullying. Hence, a silent epidemic.

A Different Kind of Harassment

Bullying is 4 times more common than harassment (based on illegal discrimination). In only one out of five (20%) of bullying cases does discriminatory conduct play a role.

Bullying Damages Employees’ Health

The mythology surrounding bullying is that targets complain and mitigate frequently. However, 45% of targets experience stress-related health problems. WBI 2003 research found that targeted individuals suffer debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, clinical depression (39%), and even post-traumatic stress (PTSD, 30% of women; 21% of men).

In addition, once targeted, a person has a 64% chance of losing the job for no reason. Despite the health harm, 40% never report it. Only 3% sue and 4% complain to state or federal agencies.  Learn more about workplacebullyingInstutute.org

My bully I am still getting over!  The post-traumatic stress has changed me.  It took family support & personal dedication to learn more to keep this from ever happening again.

How you represent yourself is important.  How you treat others matters.  I have learned so much through education.  If you are being bullied there are agencies that can help.

Lets stop bullying in the workplace!  Be part of the change.

 

 

 

Mustard & Ketchup

My brother Scotty loves corn dogs!  When we go to town we always end up at Scotty’s Drive Inn and buy 2 corn dogs and always asked for Mustard & Ketchup.  When Scotty gets that bag it is on.  He has a plan!  He has the mustard packet ripped then he goes for the ketchup!  Let me just say here that this is not car food!    Scotty does not talk!  He just eats!

Just like Scotty I know what I like too!  As we all do!  When I was pregnant with both girls I craved french fries and chicken gravy from a specific restaurant.  I was reminded today of  the french fries in a conversation with my husband.  We at times in life accept things that become part of our habits.   I was raised in tough times and Dad could not afford to take us to the doctors.  So I am not good at taking care of myself.  In the past years I have become more lethargic and wiped out a lot.  I ignore it and keep pushing myself.

I have been home since Friday night sick with what I thought at first was a cold.  Each day I have gotten worse.  I went to see the doctor today and she read through some lab work that I had done 14 months earlier.  I was not fully aware of what those numbers meant.  I am now awaiting new lab results and a phone consultation tomorrow after the tests come back.  God has granted me more time here to know the true love of my husband, to be a mother, to be a daughter to parents who I really never did really know.

The people who I could have never imagined that would be part of my story! Blessings abound me!   I have no idea what is ahead of me.  I only know that God has been here through it all.

I am hoping I am headed toward recovery.  To see each of our children grow up and be the women I hope they will be.  I think my underlying health issues have a lot to do with my emotional state.  I want to get well and actually not be exhausted all the time.

It is easy for me to put others ahead of me.  This is good.  Even when I am being e-rational about taking care of me I have tried to be the best person I could be in service of others.

Awareness of what is given leaves me thankful what God has given me.  He knows my person!  He knows my behavior and he knows my hour.  I worry not about where I will go.  I know that even though I am not perfect.  Jesus is my savior.  He comforts me and he is with me.  76d5b5d28443951eeb055b7cbc162cd3