“I know that my own stubbornness God has seen and I am truly ashamed.”
Some of the toughest times in my life have come out of my own poor decisions. I am a sinner trying to be more like Jesus in how he lived is not always easy! I loose my way. We naturally look back and remember hurt moments in our lives. We even become bitter over things. I have got to admit I know all about bitterness.
I try hard not to think of these moments where those whom we love the most have hurt us. It is in our nature to find fault as well. In James 1:20 we are reminded “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” Hurt emotions always manifest into anger. We feel rejected, shocked, hurt and become angry.
I have taught on this very subjec and yet when I am consumed with own my personal hurt, I too forget. So many moments lost! That is what has happened! We stop calling one another. We do not go to families homes anymore. No one says they are sorry. We become right and everyone else is wrong.
I know that my own stubbornness God has seen and I truly am ashamed. I do not know why families do the things that families do. However, it is not worth arguing about. Sometimes you have to choose peace! God can make me whole. if I hurt he is there to comfort me. If I have a need, he provides. So even when I am hurt by life I can go ask God to comfort me. No matter the issue he will give me guidance.
Trying cost nothing but the gain could be service to someone in need!
If you build it they will come! Will they really come? This is the question! I am working hard building a legacy for the future that will not just serve myself but will feed our children and provide for others as well. Starting a new company is hard! Dragging your children along for the ride! Well sometimes I think it’s a bit like herding kittens! What I think versus what they think is important can be a stressful go of it!
Just like that Field of Dreams comes the fear of what if this does not work? What if I did this and no one wants what we are selling? like the brother who is arguing with his sister and brother-in-law about how stupid it was to have bull dozed the corn out to build a baseball field! He could not understand! Yet Mighty Joe kept saying they will pay to see us play! The naysayers cannot see what we are doing!
Building a business is risky. Doing nothing gets you no where either! So if I can going to live today I might as well try! Trying cost nothing but the gain could be service to someone in need! God has a way of giving us things in life that at times we might not fully see! But he does! Our granola company started just this way. When my sister asked “why granola?” I told her that it was from God. God had directed me to this.
In just three months, we have taken the company in a new direction that will allow us to not only sell to our customers but will now allow us to be wholesales into stores staring in Nebraska. Our website is now taking orders with product shipping starting this week.
The commitment to building this has been over whelming with getting located into Nutter’s Bulk & Natural Foods in Scottsbluff, Nebraska as we start producing. Last year we produced 1200 pounds and sold just through Farmers Markets. We have three store locations now that will be selling our product. So it is all about the hard work! Out goal is to promote each store with us doing to foot work, advertising and promotion to share the Granola Box story.
I am learning to trust God! “Depend on God & keep at it because in the Lord God you have a sure thing,” Isiah 26:4 No matter what have faith in where directs you as well.
Last week as I last shared our family had a fire in our pellet stove that caused the house to fill with smoke last Sunday evening. So I spent last Monday cleaning all the walls laundering all the drapes taking all the furnishing out to air out and cleaning all the walls. I had a company come in to clean to the carpets on Thursday. The house smelled even worse with the smoke damage in the carpets.
I finally broke down and called the Insurance company. They are coming out this morning to assess because I am concerned about the smoke damage in the furniture.
Of course I it is week later and I can still smell the smoke. However my family cannot. It could be just that I am over whelmed by the whole incident. You pay for Insurance and then you are fearful of using it. Our Adjuster said that there is ionizing equipment that can remove all the smoke from our furniture. My biggest consootcern is our grandson being in our home and being sick from the in the furniture.
When things happen that cause suffering it is hard to understand. God has a purpose for what he has planned out for our family. Personal ownership for bad decisions, Bryan’s ongoing cancer issues and debt all have been our struggles for since 2014.
God has not forsaken us. At times I have to remind myself that I am not my own. God redeems us and protects us. The fire and smoke could have come in the night with the loss of our family as we slept. Yet God protected us. Bryan’s cancer has grown us as a family to see the value of each day. Career changes has brought me back home and has helped me spend more time with God and family. Our debt will be resolved.
God has opened doors and closed doors in my life. He has taken me places I would have never known! I am so thankful for this. I have never taken the easy road in life. It is not my life plan! I challenge myself! Even thru all of what has happened God’s grace is sufficient.
Personally we all have dark days. Do not be deceived or manipulated to stay in the dark. PSALM 23:4 reminds us ” Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for you are with me. PSALM 23:4
I own my hardships. God knows my heart and he knows my failings. He knows my nature. In tough times I have had to lean on him and not on me. I really stink at this. As I look back on things I decided without God! I have suffered!
As I close this blog today I am inspired to be excited for this day! Truly blessed.
We have a wood pellet stove in our home. We have enjoyed this stove. The stove really has reduced our fuel bills. Something went wrong last night and my daughter came running into my Master that is in the back of the house to tell me the stove was on fire. I went out to see what was going on to find the door of the stove was open and the house filled with heavy white soot smoke. we opened the windows to clear the smoke.
Well this morning the smoke is just as heavy. I called my employer to let them know I will be working from home on cleaning the house. Just checked website on smoke damage. I have decided on a combination of a mild detergent with baking soda and vinegar. well it is has not removed the smell. I covered the furniture in baking soda and damped it with vinigar. it seemed to work on the furniture. However the walls and ceilings still smell of smoke. More than half of the house was effected. The throw rugs in the livingroom I contacted a professional carpet care company who will come on Thursday and shampoo. All the drapes, blinds and throw pillows were taken out and laundered. All the wall hangings are on the patio with all the baskets that needed cleaned with mild soap and vinigar. I am so thankful that I am cleaning furnishings and that we did not die from smoke inhalation or worse in a full house fire!
God’s grace and love once again has prevailed. Even though it cost me a day of work we still have time to thank the Lord for this day and to rejoice in his glory.
Recently I have had to realize that shame is God’s way of humbling our hearts. We bring shame upon ourselves. It becomes apparent that in life it becomes hurt that can keep us from our goals of being closer to God.
As I grow in my life toward the woman God wants me to be, I have realized that my mistakes become shame. I read a note card that gave good life advice. it said do not go to bed angry, show up and stay late and think before you speak! Really good advise. We sometimes need to remind ourselves that sometimes what we start is not going to turn out just like we expected. However it might turn out better!
I have set some huge goals this year for my life. I look to the small victories that God will send me as I work toward these goals. However my goals mean nothing if they do not grow me toward God. Recently I have been humbled by new people who God has placed in my life. He sets our feet toward new directions! He asures me that I will be doing his work. It might be a co-worker, A family member, or a stranger that is placed in my life for his glory. I have learned to be thankful for all.
Being humble is when you realize what you have to say is not necessary! You become quiet and more willing to let others speak. Being humbled by what happens to me instead of torn down by circumstances. Learning to let go of strife and being ok with a new road. These are the things of growth!
“As I write this, it is apparent to me that I am different! Different than I used to be. “
As I write this, it is apparent to me that I am different! Different than I used to be. Why? Well it happened almost without my realization. All of the sudden when I would get in my car I did not want to listen to music. How I took time to think of others feelings more so than my opinion. All of the sudden I was wanting to read more and seek the scriptures to get a better understanding of what I needed for my life.
My staff laugh because they know I am walking into the building just as Franklin Graham comes on the radio right after Adrian Rogers. Why would they know this? Because I listen to Pastor Adrian Rogers everyday as I drive to work. I would love to listen to Franklin as well but I cannot. I have shared with all my team that I feed my morning drive with Pastor Adrian so when I am walking into the building I am equipped with the message and I try to pray to the Lord to allow me be a blessing to him as I conduct myself and how I treat my team!
The high standard of what I want my people to see in me is important. I need to be prepared to greet them with a solid mind and a Christ Centered behavior! I love it when I am able to wake early and read something amazing here on WordPress that inspires my heart. However being a morning person is not a NATURAL part of who I am. I like my sleep! When I do not wake early I miss on my time with the Lord. Oh I miss this!
I love spending time with God. As I grow in my walk this time is very important to me. I am hungry for learning. He truly restores me and help me meet the day. I love to close the door on my office and read my New Testament at work as well. If we want a time for God we have to block time out. I feel God working in me. I am growing because I am hungry for God. I am so thankful for this. Here is hoping that you can set time aside to be thankful to God and to spend time praising everyday!
All though life changes our outer being the inner being still feels young without boundaries. It is only when I am playing with my children I realize that the shell is getting older.
Change is inevitable with every year our lives change. This year we saw our daughter marry and have her first-born. I remember being deeply in love with my husband and the night he proposed and yet this was 34 years ago. Oh how I have changed! When I look in the mirror I can still see that girl who said yes! All though life changes our outer being the inner being still feels young without boundaries. It is only when I am playing with my children I realize that the shell is getting older.
Age is not always a welcome visitor. Vanity of what and who we perceive who we are changes with each passing year. I guess that is why we need to focus on who we are today. Today I am a better person because I have accepted I cannot do this life without Christ. This was the best change I made. I will forever be thankful for accepting Jesus as my savior and my sister-in-law and best friend Lorie who was there who prayed with me as I accepted Jesus. Embracing this change has been a lot like to evolution of me going from a young woman to the older woman I am today.
When we decide to accept and be thankful for what God has done in our lives it becomes really fun to see where that change will take me. I am set apart in the body of Christ. But being set aside does not mean that the challenges and changes I will embrace will always be fully understood at the time of these changes. We have to open our hearts up to what God has in store. So Embrace change today